WHO vs HOW YOU ARE

TRY THIS...

Values and personality run deep, and I don’t believe that we have the right to challenge and try to change who someone is on the inside.

Who are you to tell ME who to be?

Behaviour on the other hand, is another matter. That isn’t WHO we are, it’s HOW we are.

Our behaviour can express our values and personality to others, but there is more than one behaviour to express a value and what we stand for, and you can practise those.

Here are 3 things you can do to get started:

  1. Ask someone who shares a core value how they’d demonstrate it when interacting with others. There may be a small gesture or phrase you could adopt. Then test it and see what happens.

  2. Tell someone the reason you do something a certain way (the way you share your views or greet someone) and ask them if they assumed that reason/intention from your behaviour. The find out what they would do if that was their intention and test that.

  3. Watch others who behave differently to you, but whose intentions and values you know you share, and pick a few things to try out. This could include:

    • How fast they move

    • Whether they lean in or away

    • How close they stand, or sit

    • How much eye contact they make

    • Whether they give information or ask questions

    • What percentage of time they speak

SOMETHING TO PONDER...

Here’s a question to ask yourself…

When did you last let someone know your intentions to avoid them making assumptions about your behaviour?

SOMETHING FOR LATER...

My Limitless Leadership programme (also available as a 121 programme) is ready for you to take a look at. If you are on the fence, why not ask me about getting a free taster of one of the diagnostics to see how powerful this could be to change the way you lead?

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The 2 Biggest Feedback Traps

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Do you have a relationship growth mindset?