Are you feeling misunderstood?
try This
Ever wished that others understood and met your needs and wants better?
Relationships are 2-way but that doesn't always mean it feels balanced.
Some people share a lot about themselves, some take a lot of interest in you but share little of themselves, and sometimes it's neither of those.
Therefore, I think there are 2 main causes of people feeling misunderstood:
1. It's you - you don't share enough or in the right way to help others understand you
2. It's them - they aren't willing or able to understand you and act on it.
That gives a few options...
1. Start sharing, or share more
2. Change the way you share information about yourself
3. Accept that not everyone has the desire or capacity to understand you and invest your energy in meeting their needs instead to improve the relationship
Here are a few examples for option 1 and 2...
1 - Share More
Be clear about what your priority, desired outcome or preferred approach is for a specific situation and why you like to work that way.
Here are some examples for you:
* I prefer bullet points to long emails because I like/work best when I can move on quickly
* I prefer a planned meeting rather than a spontaneous phone call because I like/work best when I have time to prepare and know what to expect
* I prefer a gap between our first chat and giving you a decision because I like/work best when I get time to reflect and consider the wider impact of things
* I prefer a phone call to an email because I like talking to a person rather than a machine
Treat it as a conversation starter to ask how that compares to their preferences and why that works best for them.
2 - Share differently
The way you share may be linked to the way you like to work, but it may not be landing because it doesn't fit with their preferred approach, so look at what they do and try aligning to that approach
Here are some examples for you:
* If their emails are short, sharp and you wish they were more detailed, then let them know as succinctly and precisely as possible exactly what you need.
* If they like to stick to an agenda and have structured meetings but you want more discussion, book a meeting and make 'open discussion' an agenda item.
* If their meetings generally run over and tend to involve a lot of interaction and not enough action and direction, make time to stay longer next time for a chat and ask for their thoughts on how to help you get away on time with clear actions.
* If they tend to focus on people's feelings and you think that draws attention away from the task at hand, make time for them one to one to ask them how they 'feel' about the task and how best to get people onboard with getting this done.
Every situation has its own nuances, so if there is something specific you want to say to someone but are not sure what to say - reply here with your example and I'll give you a few tips...
something To ponder
Sometimes we are so busy being focused on our own needs that we forget that those around us may need our attention just as much.
If I asked the person you think doesn't understand you if they think you understand them, would they say yes?
Sometimes the best way to feel understood is to stop trying and instead focus your attention on understanding others.