Good relationships don't happen by accident. They need attention, time and a sense of safety. So what are the people who build genuinely positive relationships doing differently?

If you're getting behaviour you don't want, take a closer look at what happens next. Sometimes we accidentally reward the very behaviour we're trying to change.

When did you last properly laugh with your team? Laughter can ease tension, help us feel connected and make work feel a little more human. But good humour isn't the same thing as good banter.

Growth asks something of us. Sometimes it's the willingness to hear something uncomfortable about ourselves, resist the urge to defend it, and ask what we might do differently.

A holiday shouldn't leave the rest of the team wondering what happens next. A little clarity about responsibilities, decisions, support and staying connected can make time away easier for everyone.

Feedback can help someone grow, or it can leave them feeling bruised. Before you give it, ask two questions: who is this really for, and what exactly am I aiming at?

You don't have to change who you are to change how you show up. Our values and personality may run deep, but our behaviour is something we can notice, experiment with and choose differently.

Do you have a growth mindset?

How connected is your team, really? You can ask. Ten simple questions can reveal how well people understand, trust and communicate with each other — and where the gaps might be.

We all want to be heard. Really heard. But listening well isn't always easy, especially when your mind has a tendency to wander. Here are three ways to make listening a more conscious choice.

Sometimes work asks a lot of us. When relationships are difficult, conversations are uncomfortable and you're giving more than you're getting back, how do you keep going without running yourself into the ground?

Curiosity might be one of the most useful relationship skills we have. It helps us ask better questions, notice more, challenge our assumptions and stay interested in the people around us.

You can intend to show someone you care and still miss the mark. What feels thoughtful to one person might mean very little to another. So why not ask what makes people actually feel valued?

Sometimes making progress means changing the way you approach something. But new approaches can feel awkward, especially when you don't have many role models or you're not sure what “better” looks like yet.

We often focus on what happens in the moment. But the quality of a relationship can be shaped just as much by what happens before the conversation and what happens afterwards.

A few things I've found useful for understanding people, relationships and behaviour — books, podcasts and articles that have made me think, challenged my assumptions or given me something practical to try.

When a relationship feels cold, difficult or tense, we can be quick to focus on what the other person is doing. But what if context matters more than we realise? Sometimes a little warmth can change what becomes possible.

What if you tested your own assumptions in the same way you test a profiling tool? Here's a sneak preview from People in Their Element, including a practical exercise for questioning the mental models behind your decisions.

Ever wished people understood you better? Sometimes the answer is to explain yourself more clearly. Sometimes it's to change how you communicate. And sometimes, surprisingly, the way to feel more understood is to understand the other person better.

Good relationships start with noticing. What do you see when you pay attention to other people — and what might you be missing?